He Lived in the Moment

0:00 Darren was a 0:03 really fun, happy person. 0:06 He was just happy and lived life to the fullest 0:12 and just wanted everyone around him 0:15 to be enjoying themselves happy, trouble free. 0:20 He just wanted to help people, you know? 0:22 He just had this love for life. 0:25 He he didn't like sitting around the house just doing nothing. 0:29 It was let's go listen to local music. 0:31 Let's go to a sporting event. 0:33 Let's let's go to a party. 0:35 And so it was fun. 0:37 It was also the type that would drop anything if someone needed help. 0:40 So if a friend needed help moving or someone needed a shift 0:44 covered or whatever it was, he was the one doing that. 0:47 And that's just something you don't always see. 0:50 We just had great random times together. 0:54 I always tell people Darren just lived in the moment. 0:57 He didn't say no to people. 0:59 So last minute 1:00 someone said, hey, I'm having a party or I'm going to listen to a local band. 1:05 He was very into music and local bands. 1:08 I'm going to listen to this local band. 1:09 We would just drop things and go. 1:13 He just lived in the moment and I think we don't do that as much anymore. 1:19 Everything is so planned and everything is so calculated and life is really busy, 1:23 and you just kind of forget that those are the best moments. 1:27 We did start a fund for him through the friends 1:33 of the Jewish Chapel, and every year at the Jewish Baccalaureate, 1:36 we give a sword to a graduating midshipman who most embodies 1:42 the qualities that were Darren the Good Guy Award. 1:46 So it's not for the person with the highest GPA 1:50 or the star, the football team, whatever. 1:53 It's for the person who was just there for everybody else. 1:57 That good guy who wants to help and wants to be there, 2:01 and is the person you can depend on when you need it. 2:04 When he became an Intel officer, he wanted to be the best Intel officer. 2:09 Whatever job they gave him, he wanted to be the best he could. 2:12 It wasn't just going to go in, put my eight hours in and leave. 2:16 I'm going to go in and I'm just going to give it my all. 2:19 But then when when he came home, it was, you don't know how long you have. 2:25 You have to enjoy every moment and make every moment count. 2:29 So that is the message 2:30 I give when I give out the award every year, the Jewish baccalaureate. 2:34 Just remind people that there's no guarantee that 2:39 you have to take every opportunity that you're given, all that 2:43 you earn, experience what you can, when you can, when you physically can, 2:47 when you mentally can. 2:48 Because at some point you're not going to be here anymore. 2:51 And you don't want. 2:53 You don't want to live a life of, I should have done that. 2:56 I didn't do that and regret not doing something. 3:00 And you don't want your loved ones to regret anything. 3:03 Like I have no regrets with Darren. 3:05 Like people will say, would you have done something differently? 3:08 Like, oh yeah, I would have called him before 3:10 nine over 11 and said, get the heck out of the Pentagon. 3:12 You know, that morning when I saw what was going on, that's my regret. 3:16 But in terms of life, we had we had fun together. 3:20 We had a great time and it was cut short. 3:22 There's nothing I think now like, oh, we should have done that or we should. 3:26 We should have said yes to that invitation. 3:28 We just did it and we lived life enjoyed and appreciated every minute. 3:34 We always told each other how we felt. 3:36 We always said, 3:37 I love you before we would leave for work or before we would end a phone call. 3:42 There was never a doubt that he knew how I felt. 3:45 I knew how he felt. 3:46 And so I tried to get that message because I think 3:51 a lot of people leave things unset and then regret it. 3:54 I try to live like that. 3:55 I'm not great. 3:57 I'm definitely not as great as Darren. 3:59 I always say 4:00 I wish I could be more like him, but I don't leave anything on the table. 4:05 And then that's what I get from him and that's what I hope 4:08 everybody else gets from him. 4:09 It's not. It's not about medals. It's not about awards. 4:12 It's not about someone telling you did a great job. 4:15 It's about how people think you treat them and and what you do for others. 4:20 Being a good person, being that go to person, you need help you. 4:24 You know who to go to. 4:25 You go to that person who's not going to say no 4:27 because they're going to do anything they can to help you.